Antibiotics, post-pregnancy hormones, colds, allergies and daily headaches have all played a role in bringing on the depression in the past. And it seems they are at it again. I never feel like writing much when I am fighting these feelings. So, all those unfinished blog posts I was so gung-ho about a few weeks ago are hanging out in edit form a while longer. I wanted to try to write something though. Hence, this post (with my apologies).
Life can still be beautiful during these moments. Its always been the case in the past that the beauty is more evident once the sad is gone. But this time, I'm seeing more good, beauty, lovely in the midst of the dark. The spiral seems slower and there is a calm with the pain. I feel less out of control. I feel down, but rational. New for me.
Its different now. I don't feel as guilty or ashamed of the sadness as I used to. It is good to feel free to be sad about sad things without shame.
Right now my patience is being stretched and because of this, its growing. I've already noticed that I am patient longer and my responses are a bit more forgiving.
My new pajamas are cute and comfy. Its raining and, today at least, I feel like the feelings and my attire are seasonally and weather appropriate. The girls are sick and no one is coming to visit, so pj's all day are apt imo.
Looking forward.
2 comments:
So glad your not feeling as guilty or shamed, I still struggle with those feelings as well. I hope that you have a peaceful Christmas! I usually find that January is a rough month for me, I'm hoping it's better this year.
Thanks for the encouragement YM. Your words have helped me so much in the last year!
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