Its Good to be Back; Hello Me!

Earlier this week, in a post about cultic families over at Quivering Daughters, Hillary said, "Within high-demand groups, like cults, for instance, members often have what's known as a 'pre-cult identity'. Recovery requires that one reconnects with the person they were prior to group involvement. In other words, remembering life before the cult enables ex-members to reestablish life on their own and heal from cultic abuse."

For me, this reconnecting was much more involved than simply remembering life before the cult. Maybe that is where it started, but its taken a few years to finally, finally be back to that person. Of course, I am not the exact same person. But there is a sense that I am as whole as I ever was. I think because of my family's partial involvement in cultish groups, I might have to do some deeper digging eventually, but it is a good, a great feeling to feel whole again.

My husband said the other night, "I've never seen you like this. It is strange. Its great, but its strange to see you like this." And then i pointed out that I thought he had seen this me before. I pointed out that when we first met, I think I was very much like this person and he stopped and thought for a moment, smiled and agreed. He is very excited to see where this me goes from here. And, I am too!